Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
