You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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