pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Never underestimate the power of titties
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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