She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
