Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
