Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize