buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
