Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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