East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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