just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
