Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
