hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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