I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
