this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
