i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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