look no pants
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
