i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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