The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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