Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
