He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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