don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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