You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
