i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
There r osticjed everywhere
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
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