Sry I called you an 8
Soap is not a condiment
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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