Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
