Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
