i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
