Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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