Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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