you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I wish i was in the wii world.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
