Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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