3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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