About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
