I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
