Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
