school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
