Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
