this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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