i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
