we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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