so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
