im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
