I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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