My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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