shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
