Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
only you would photoshop your dick
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
