It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
