You made me cry and you don't even care
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
This is classic penis vs brain.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
