My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My penis needs a shock collar
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
