There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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